PUSSY VERSUS BEER
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice
cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If
you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a
night and you have done all the driving you need.
Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a
football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the
stands at a football game
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a
breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are
going to get a high five.
With beer, bigger is better.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you
are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of
pussy is more fun.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to
snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly
drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle.
The government taxes beer.
It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.