Beer Versus

PUSSY VERSUS BEER

A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.

^

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game
Advantage: Pussy

^

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

^

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy:Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran
Advantage: Draw

^

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle.
Good pussy:Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
ADVANTAGE: PUSSY.