For those who like to fart a lot...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle woman, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So, he made the supreme sacrifice... and gave up beans. They were married shortly thereafter.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home.
On his way, he passed a small cafe and the aroma of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured he would work off any ill effects before he got home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of the best baked beans he'd had in years.
All the way home, he putt-putted, and after arriving, felt reasonably safe that he had putted his last. His dear wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, " Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the diningroom table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned, and then went to answer the phone. He seized the opportunity, lifted his weight to one leg, and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him. Things had just returned to normal when another urge coming on him so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner!
While keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went on like this for ten minutes, until he knew the phone farewells indicated an end to his lonliness, and freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it, and smiling contentedly to himself, was the picture of innocence when his wife returned apologising for taking so long.
She asked if he had peeked and he, of course, assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise.
Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a 'Happy Birthday' party for him.