Jokes from Jokezilla.com

Fun with Unix

If you type these in from the csh (c shell): in Unix you really do get these responses.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?
man: Too many arguments.

% make sense
Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make light
Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.

^

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% man rear
No manual entry for rear.

% If I had a ) for every dollar Clinton spent, what would I have?
Too many )'s.

% * How would you describe Clinton
*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% ls Meese-Ethics
Meese-Ethics not found

% "How would you rate Clinton's senility?
Unmatched ".

^

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ]. |

% ^How did the^sex change operation go?
Modifier failed.

% who is my match? No match.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
awk: syntax error near line 1
awk: bailing out near line

% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.

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