Cat and Ostrich
A bloke went into a pub, accompanied by an ostrich and a cat. He bought three pints, and they all took a table. After the drinks were finished, the ostrich went to the bar and bought the next round. Next time, it wasn't the cat who bought the round, but the bloke again, followed by the ostrich... and so it went on, with the cat never once buying a round.
After half a dozen rounds, when the bloke went to the bar again, the barman said, "Excuse me being nosey, mate, but I've got to ask you. First, what are you doing going around with a cat and an ostrich? And second, how come the cat never buys a round? He must be a stingy git!"
"Well, it's like this," said the bloke, "The other day, I was walking along a beach, and I came across this ancient brass lamp. I gave it a rub, and this genie came out, and said he'd grant me one wish and all that stuff. But he misunderstood what I asked for; I said I wanted a bird with long legs and a tight pussy!"