Don't Fall Asleep in Church
A man who went to church with his wife, always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with it every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "....and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." she poked her husband who came flying out of the pew and screamed, "Good God almighty!".
The minister said "That's right, that's right." and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again.
When the minister got to ".... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins....." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted, "Jesus Christ". The minister said, "that's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to " .... and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?" the wife started to poke the husband again, but he jumped up and said, "If you stick that damn thing in me again, I'll break it off!"