Priest and the Flood
One rainy night, a priest walked into a hotel and asked for a room. About an hour later there was a knock on his door. "Quick, Quick!", screamed the hotel manager. "There's a terrible flood happening. Get yourself out into the rescue boat before you drown!"
But the priest remained calm. "The Lord is my Saviour, and He will save me."
Not long afterwards, the water had risen to the second floor. A second boat sailed past the priest's window and the captain looked inside. "Good God man, jump in here before you die!", the captain screamed.
"The Lord is my Saviour, He will save me."
Soon enough, the flood raged higher and higher, until the priest was forced out onto the hotel roof. A nearby helicopter saw the man's plight and dangled a rope ladder down to him. "Hurry up!", yelled the pilot. "Grab onto the rope!".
The priest smiled. "The Lord is my Saviour, He will..."
All of a sudden, a gigantic lightning bolt struck the priest in the head. Next thing he knew, the priest was at the gates of heaven, seated before God himself.
"My Lord!", he wailed. "Why did you forsake me?"
"Forsake you! I sent you two boats and a helicopter, didn't I?"