Off to America
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea. When she went down the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity on her. "Look, you've got a lot to live for, " he said. "I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later during a routine search, the captain discovered her. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors", she explained. "He's taking me to America, and he's feeding me."
"What are you doing for him?" said the captain.
"He's shafting me" said the girl.
"That's right," replied the captain. "This is the Isle of Wight ferry"